The test

“Hey thanks for the reference.
I got that job, it’s 40 hours a week.”
“Yeah, no problem. Not the first time I lied for you.”
“Uh, could you hook me up with some of yer piss too?”
“Just like old times, right baby?”
“Ugh. I’m never gonna live that down, am I? Anyway, I found this perfect sized plastic container, it’s like a cylinder, it’ll fit right in my vadge. I thought it might be too big, but my mom looked at it and laughed, she said ‘if you can’t fit THAT in your pussy, you’ll never survive prison’,
I’m like ‘I have a shallow cervix, you don’t understand!’,
She don’t get it. But, I think it’ll work.”
“Tell yer ma I said hi.”
“She’s still mad you called her a junkie whore.”
“Oh yeah. Huh-huh-huh.”
“Remember Valentine’s Day?”
“Vaguely.”
“The day we broke up? You raped me, called my mom a junkie whore, stole $20 from my purse, and then kicked me out of your car?”
“I hate holidays.”
“You hate yourself.”
“Stop by later if you want my liquid gold.”
“Ok. Bye.”
“Bye.”

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