The Great Escape

I had been gone from my group of homeless youth for a month or 2,
riding the rails.
When I came back to Seattle my good buddy Erek told me I’d better have that case of beer I promised him.

What case of beer?

Well, Erek was always meeting girls and fucking them. He claimed over 900 before he died in his 30’s. No small feat, considering he was a drunk bum who once went 2 years without showering or changing his shirt. His nickname was Filthy Erek.

“You told me you’d buy me a case of beer if I introduced you to a big titted fat girl, as long as you fucked her that first night”, he said.

I did vaguely remember saying that in a moment of drunk despair.

Right about then she came walking around the corner.

Trust me dude, it’s a sure thing, he whispered.

She was a homeless kid too.  Junkie parents, ward of the state. She recently ran away from a foster home. She had even given birth to a kid of her own a couple years before, snatched away by the state of course.

After being together about a month, I got arrested and went to jail for 3 months.

When I got out, she announced she was pregnant. I was in the doctor’s office with her when he confirmed she was indeed 2 months pregnant.

I was in the condemned vacant crack house with her when she had a miscarriage on the bathroom floor.

We eventually scraped up enough money for a cheap room on the 8th floor of a crumbling building on 42nd and University Avenue.

She got too crazy for me.
She’d get hysterical and try jumping out the window, started shooting up meth. Trying to stab me with steak knives…

When she would get nutty like that, I’d walk downstairs and buy her a can of Sprite then dump about 2 or 3 capsules of benadryl in it.
Say,
“Here ya go baby, I got you a soda. Just relax and have some Sprite.”

Her ass would fall asleep and my ass would take off and get drunk.

One time I fucked a homeless chick and caught scabies, gave it to her. Chicks just know when you’re cheating.
“I know you fucked that homeless skank and brought home these bugs!”
Of course I denied it.

Another time, she was all horny and I had just got done snacking on some anejo peppers. I got to rubbing her pussy and after awhile she jumped up and started screaming, ran into the bathtub and began digging in her snatch.

The tub was filling with cold water,
She was desperately fingering her pussy,
Screaming
“You motherfucker! You put a jalapeno in my pussy! You sick fuck! I’m gonna kill you!”
I tried explaining that there must have been some hot stuff still on my fingers left over from the peppers, but she wouldn’t listen. It took 10 minutes of me laughing and her digging before she finally felt safe there wasn’t anything inside of her.

About a month later I quit my job and bought a bus ticket to the east coast.

As I sat on the bus looking out the window,

I decided that it was the most expensive case of beer I’ve ever bought.

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